Friday, November 26, 2010

Adrift


 So , there's an insight in Transactional Analysis called a "Stamp".

In my efforts to improve things for my wife I have grown disheartened with  online "advocacy"  groups that substitute posting stuff on the web, for actually creating  change in the real, hard world. 

I have grown intolerant of the puffed up egos that  work against real commitment.

With my back to the wall, I am raring to get my book published. I don't have  any appetite to mess or be messed  about.

But,it was unfair of me to burst in on Litopia ;I am so touched and moved by all the messages that I have been receiving, bearing such a large Stamp.

I have received so many supportive messages; however I have upset so many more. That I regret, very much..

So apologetic, bashful, blushing: am I ??

Well no.

All I have done is state my truth - a valuable and brave truth as far as I am concerned; I stand by my experience and the tender  insight that comes with "new eyes". There is always a critical choice to be made between  game-playing and engagement ; all anyone can do is make their own mind up on that.

Apparently I am in a minority , my acquaintance with the Colony is not a shared one. As I said I am prepared to take responsibility for that; my involvement is no doubt clouded and I definitely should have given it more time.

Trouble is, the author part of me is far too  wild, ferocious, raging, raving , unrestrained and truculent ; too busy clambering up moonbeams,  to dicker  with any connotation  of  balderdash, baloney and bananas.

My  path  is  a  windswept, desolate, undomesticated , berserk one. When the aberrant author is out; better get out of the way. Sailorsam, I think, is probably  better off  being left  to drift  alone  on the high seas, with his love songs and dreams.

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